My Dad – My Role Model

A Father’s Love

A father is respected because
he gives his children leadership…
appreciated because
he gives his children care…
valued because
he gives his children time…
loved because
he gives his children the one thing
they treasure most – himself.

My parents are visiting us for the 2nd time since we arrived in US way-back in 2006. The first time they were here was in 2008 when Neha was born. It always feels nice when you have your loved ones near and close by, which is what we miss by choosing our career ahead of everything else in life.

September 29th was my parents’ 41st wedding anniversary and we were glad to spend the day with them on this special occasion. They have shared  several moments of joy and sorrow in all these years making it a wonderful marriage. Hope they get to celebrate many more anniversaries in a similar way with their near and dear ones.

Today, October 19th, is my dad’s 73rd birthday and I want to dedicate this post entirely to him, so please bear with me if it goes longer than my other usual posts. I do have so much to say about him that I feel, I can just keep going….

Meet My Dad

My father’s name is Rajarao and he retired working as a Senior Accountant at the Central Board of Direct Taxes in Bangalore, India. He served the government throughout his life for more than 40years and won several accolades from his colleagues and co-workers for being the gentleman that he is.

He is one of the 7 siblings with 2 younger brothers and 4 sisters, all of whom are married and well settled in Bangalore, India. The family is very close-knit with several get-togethers happening very often giving them a chance to socialize and allow younger generation to learn more about the traditions and cultures.

He married my mom, Janhavi on Sep 29th of 1971 and have lead a life, initially of struggles and later of content and happiness. They have been there for each other in both times of happiness and despair, thus maintaining the strong bond of the relationship and nurturing it even further with every day they spend together.

The Initial Days

My father isn’t the person who will go about telling his sons about the difficulties they have faced in life, but every now and then, as a day passes, and as he experiences something note-worthy, he remembers the old days and thinks out loud, enough for me to catch the hint.

During his early marriage days, he was drawing a monthly salary of Rs.435, out of which me and my brother’s school fees came upto Rs.60, which of course as any other parent, they never compromised upon. Meeting all the family expenses, one can only imagine how they managed until the end of the month.

Even to this day, I can remember that he never said ‘no’ to anything I asked as a kid, be it a toy or a new shirt, he always fulfilled it. I look back today, and sometimes feel so stupid for having even asked in such times of difficulties, but kids never know right?? It is good parenting that will remain in the kids’ minds, as it has been in mine, and all I can do is to let the world know (at least all my good readers), how good a dad he has always been.

What My Dad Stood For

There were many small lessons that I have picked up from him, and when I sit and think, it is really difficult to put them in words. There are qualities of him which have been imbibed in my mind, which as the quote above says, will remain with me forever!!!!

Be content –

My father has always been a man who has been content with what God has given him, and has always strictly followed the saying ‘Stretch your legs until your bed goes’. Practically speaking, he is against taking unnecessary loans, never has he owned a credit card, actually he was telling me about an incident recently.

When he was a kid, he had to wait outside a grocery store, and the owner used to make him stand just because he was on credit  and always had a debt. This bothered him every time he had to go and wait for all others to finish their purchases. When he got his first salary, the very first thing he did was to close that account of debt and never again went to that store. He decided the very day that he will buy only what his money will get him, never again go on a debt because of shortage of money.

I can imagine, what must have gone through his mind as a small boy, being ignored for being unable to pay in time, such incidents will teach one the real value of money. That is what he has learnt, be it the hard way, and today he stands proud that he is able to afford what he wants.

Be honest – 

Every parent teaches their kids to be honest, and that is what he taught us as well. Along with honesty, he has also made me realize the importance of faith and trust in a relationship.

Of course I learnt it by being dis-honest when I was a kid, having hurt my parents feelings and knowing how bad a lie can be, made me realize the importance of honesty in life. He taught me to be responsible and always said Family comes First, never to ignore this fact.

Be Aware –

As I grew up, he always told me to be aware of my surroundings, be aware of what I speak and be aware of my actions. If my words hurt somebody, or if my actions was against something, it is always good to be cautious than to be repentful of it later on.

“The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.”

In addition to self and humanity, the other most important lesson I learnt is to “Be Aware of the Power of God“, because He is the one who is the ultimate authority and who can really keep you happy in life. The prayers my parents taught me, the devotion they have instilled in me, have kept my faith in God in tact, never to be disturbed no matter what.

Be a Good Host –

My dad is known to be the perfect host whenever there is a family get-together or even when someone comes calling on a casual visit. He will go out of his way to make his guests comfortable and believes very firmly in this sanskrit saying (follow the link to understand the meaning)

“Matru devo bhavaḥ, Pitru devo bhavaḥ, Acharya devo bhavaḥ, Atithi devo bhavaḥ”. 

It literally means ” The Mother is God, the Father is God, the Teacher is God, and the Guest is God.” My father has served his parents like a devoted son and he has always had respect for those who have devoted their lives in teaching.

He has always found happiness in other’s satisfaction and contentment, which stands true in my thoughts as well.

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln”

Be free from ego –

Ego and attitude are two most dangerous characteristics of a human mind. If my dad was always thinking about himself and his own needs, he would never have gained the respect he has and by being positive in his thoughts, he has always maintained an aura of dignity among his peers and his family.

By being free from ego, I have also learned to live life to the fullest. My father always said “Not everything is about You” which was hard for me to understand at the beginning, but now I do.

“Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.” – Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Be Patient –

As a kid, like all others, I was rebellious and wanted to get everything done in a single moment. There were times, when I failed and I just couldnt understand what went wrong.

That is when my father would ask me to take it easy and one at a time. Not everything can be achieved overnight, and there is no easy means to success. Some things might not be clear soon enough, if we are patient and pursue our goals, it will lead us in the right path. These words of his still ring in my ears and I can always relate my actions to these inspirational thoughts.

Over To You

Some of you might be thinking, what is it here, that your dad or your parents have not taught you. Of course, it is true, every parent has always wanted good for his kids, there is nothing new in what I learnt from him, but it felt really good putting it out on my blog !!!!! Hope you enjoyed reading and do share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

My personal message to him on his special day – “Here is wishing you every happiness in the world, and hope you are surrounded by people with loving thoughts and appreciate you for what you have been all your life. Take life easy & stop worrying, wishing you a very happy birthday with many more to come. Love you Anna.”

A man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.~ Helen Rowland

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