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My Dad – My Role Model

A Father’s Love

A father is respected because
he gives his children leadership…
appreciated because
he gives his children care…
valued because
he gives his children time…
loved because
he gives his children the one thing
they treasure most – himself.

My parents are visiting us for the 2nd time since we arrived in US way-back in 2006. The first time they were here was in 2008 when Neha was born. It always feels nice when you have your loved ones near and close by, which is what we miss by choosing our career ahead of everything else in life.

September 29th was my parents’ 41st wedding anniversary and we were glad to spend the day with them on this special occasion. They have shared  several moments of joy and sorrow in all these years making it a wonderful marriage. Hope they get to celebrate many more anniversaries in a similar way with their near and dear ones.

A Happy Couple!!!!

Today, October 19th, is my dad’s 73rd birthday and I want to dedicate this post entirely to him, so please bear with me if it goes longer than my other usual posts. I do have so much to say about him that I feel, I can just keep going….

Meet My Dad

My father’s name is Rajarao and he retired working as a Senior Accountant at the Central Board of Direct Taxes in Bangalore, India. He served the government throughout his life for more than 40years and won several accolades from his colleagues and co-workers for being the gentleman that he is.

He is one of the 7 siblings with 2 younger brothers and 4 sisters, all of whom are married and well settled in Bangalore, India. The family is very close-knit with several get-togethers happening very often giving them a chance to socialize and allow younger generation to learn more about the traditions and cultures.

He married my mom, Janhavi on Sep 29th of 1971 and have lead a life, initially of struggles and later of content and happiness. They have been there for each other in both times of happiness and despair, thus maintaining the strong bond of the relationship and nurturing it even further with every day they spend together.

The Initial Days

My father isn’t the person who will go about telling his sons about the difficulties they have faced in life, but every now and then, as a day passes, and as he experiences something note-worthy, he remembers the old days and thinks out loud, enough for me to catch the hint.

During his early marriage days, he was drawing a monthly salary of Rs.435, out of which me and my brother’s school fees came upto Rs.60, which of course as any other parent, they never compromised upon. Meeting all the family expenses, one can only imagine how they managed until the end of the month.

Even to this day, I can remember that he never said ‘no’ to anything I asked as a kid, be it a toy or a new shirt, he always fulfilled it. I look back today, and sometimes feel so stupid for having even asked in such times of difficulties, but kids never know right?? It is good parenting that will remain in the kids’ minds, as it has been in mine, and all I can do is to let the world know (at least all my good readers), how good a dad he has always been.

What My Dad Stood For

There were many small lessons that I have picked up from him, and when I sit and think, it is really difficult to put them in words. There are qualities of him which have been imbibed in my mind, which as the quote above says, will remain with me forever!!!!

Be content -

My father has always been a man who has been content with what God has given him, and has always strictly followed the saying ‘Stretch your legs until your bed goes’. Practically speaking, he is against taking unnecessary loans, never has he owned a credit card, actually he was telling me about an incident recently.

When he was a kid, he had to wait outside a grocery store, and the owner used to make him stand just because he was on credit  and always had a debt. This bothered him every time he had to go and wait for all others to finish their purchases. When he got his first salary, the very first thing he did was to close that account of debt and never again went to that store. He decided the very day that he will buy only what his money will get him, never again go on a debt because of shortage of money.

I can imagine, what must have gone through his mind as a small boy, being ignored for being unable to pay in time, such incidents will teach one the real value of money. That is what he has learnt, be it the hard way, and today he stands proud that he is able to afford what he wants.

Be honest - 

Every parent teaches their kids to be honest, and that is what he taught us as well. Along with honesty, he has also made me realize the importance of faith and trust in a relationship.

Of course I learnt it by being dis-honest when I was a kid, having hurt my parents feelings and knowing how bad a lie can be, made me realize the importance of honesty in life. He taught me to be responsible and always said Family comes First, never to ignore this fact.

Be Aware -

As I grew up, he always told me to be aware of my surroundings, be aware of what I speak and be aware of my actions. If my words hurt somebody, or if my actions was against something, it is always good to be cautious than to be repentful of it later on.

“The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.”

In addition to self and humanity, the other most important lesson I learnt is to “Be Aware of the Power of God“, because He is the one who is the ultimate authority and who can really keep you happy in life. The prayers my parents taught me, the devotion they have instilled in me, have kept my faith in God in tact, never to be disturbed no matter what.

Be a Good Host -

My dad is known to be the perfect host whenever there is a family get-together or even when someone comes calling on a casual visit. He will go out of his way to make his guests comfortable and believes very firmly in this sanskrit saying (follow the link to understand the meaning)

“Matru devo bhavaḥ, Pitru devo bhavaḥ, Acharya devo bhavaḥ, Atithi devo bhavaḥ”. 

It literally means ” The Mother is God, the Father is God, the Teacher is God, and the Guest is God.” My father has served his parents like a devoted son and he has always had respect for those who have devoted their lives in teaching.

He has always found happiness in other’s satisfaction and contentment, which stands true in my thoughts as well.

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be - Abraham Lincoln”

Be free from ego -

Ego and attitude are two most dangerous characteristics of a human mind. If my dad was always thinking about himself and his own needs, he would never have gained the respect he has and by being positive in his thoughts, he has always maintained an aura of dignity among his peers and his family.

By being free from ego, I have also learned to live life to the fullest. My father always said “Not everything is about You” which was hard for me to understand at the beginning, but now I do.

“Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.” – Sri Sathya Sai Baba

 

Be Patient -

As a kid, like all others, I was rebellious and wanted to get everything done in a single moment. There were times, when I failed and I just couldnt understand what went wrong.

That is when my father would ask me to take it easy and one at a time. Not everything can be achieved overnight, and there is no easy means to success. Some things might not be clear soon enough, if we are patient and pursue our goals, it will lead us in the right path. These words of his still ring in my ears and I can always relate my actions to these inspirational thoughts.

Over To You

Some of you might be thinking, what is it here, that your dad or your parents have not taught you. Of course, it is true, every parent has always wanted good for his kids, there is nothing new in what I learnt from him, but it felt really good putting it out on my blog !!!!! Hope you enjoyed reading and do share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

My personal message to him on his special day – “Here is wishing you every happiness in the world, and hope you are surrounded by people with loving thoughts and appreciate you for what you have been all your life. Take life easy & stop worrying, wishing you a very happy birthday with many more to come. Love you Anna.”

A man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.~ Helen Rowland

Post By Praveen Rajarao (464 Posts)

Praveen Rajarao is a Software Tech Lead and in his spare time blogs on his website –http://www.dailymorningcoffee.com and http://www.techivy.com. His topics range from blogging to technology to affiliate programs and making money online and how-to guides. Daily Morning Coffee is also accepting Guest Posts from Professional Bloggers at this time, take a look at “Write For DMC” page for more details on the same.

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24 Responses to " My Dad – My Role Model "

  1. What a beautiful post…from a son to his father Praveen!

    You Dad just reminds me of my Dad, and if you remember last year I’d done the same for his birthday too. :)

    I’m so glad you wrote about him and this topic is something I can so well relate to…because it’s from the heart more than anything else.

    I guess you can never stop learning from what our parents teach us…and they keep doing so even now, when we are grown up and have our kids.

    I lost my Mom some years back, so all I can say is…value your parents when they are around, because you can never say about tomorrow. These are the precious moments that need to be treasured for years and years to come.

    Though one cannot meet your parents in person, but wish them from my side too for a wonderful happy and long life. I’m sure he must be so happy to read this post, just as my Dad was – it’s these small things that mean a lot to them. :)
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    • Harleena – Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. Really appreciate it.

      Yes, I do remember your awesome post on your dad and it was equally touching and with lots of warm feelings.

      Small things like this or even speaking to your parents with a smile every now and then will give them immense satisfaction and as you have rightly mentioned, there is a lot of things we can learn from their experience in life.

      Thanks for the wishes and I shall surely convey them to him. See you around.
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  2. Adrienne says:

    What a wonderful tribute to your Dad Praveen and I have no doubt he’s extremely proud of you.

    I can’t imagine not seeing my parents often which is why I never moved away from them. I didn’t want to get that call that my Dad may not make it and it take me hours to be by his side. I’m glad I stayed here because I did eventually lose him so I have no regrets about the time I spent with him or all the words that were spoken between us.

    Sounds like you’ve learned a lot from your Dad and you two have a great relationship. A lot of the lessons he learned when he was young, my parents did as well. They grew up in the depression where they didn’t have much so they grew to appreciate everything.

    You have learned so many wonderful lessons from him that you must be the perfect guy! I bet your wife is one lucky woman.

    Thanks for sharing such a personal moment with us Praveen. You just shared more of who you are with us and that’s such a special gift.

    ~Adrienne
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  3. Atish says:

    This is one of the greatest post I ever read over the www. Namastey Uncle!
    Atish recently posted…Get virtual Access to The Google Data CentersMy Profile

  4. Your father is a great man and in inspiration. I especially liked the point he made about being patient and that things won’t happen overnight.

    Being one with delusions of novelist, I have to continually remind myself that overnight success takes many years. I keep writing, with the knowledge that it is a marathon not a sprint. The only way to be assured you won’t succeed is to stop trying, because if one continues to try, there is always a chance.

    That is what dreams are made of, chances.
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  5. Great Post, Praveen :)

    First off, many many happy returns of the day to your Dad :D

    Ah, yes, life is interesting, isn’t it?

    There is a lot to learn from our parents (Well, I am still going through that phase of “not agreeing” with my parents all the time, even though I later realize that what they said was good for me).

    But, sadly we are losing the art of parenting in many countries (Especially in the western hemisphere) with parents not holding responsibility for their kids after a certain age (That’s one among thousand of other reasons why I love India more than US – There, kids are born and brought up in a disciplinary manner, not that they aren’t here in US, but more people are starting to care less about their kids in US).

    Thank you for the life reminders, Praveen :) (I haven’t learned a lot from life, still have a long way to go. Thank you anyways :D).
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    • Jeevan – Thanks for your wishes, i will surely convey them to my dad.

      Yes, there is a lot to learn from all elders, just experience speaks for all of them, am sure.

      I certainly do not agree with the notion that in US people care less about kids, i can say that the bond what we have among Indians is not very prominent here in US. There is a lot of love and affection between parents and their kids, and i have seen that in practical scenarios.

      Thanks once again for visiting back and hope you have a good week ahead.
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      • Jeevan Jacob John says:

        Oh, I don’t mean that they care less (not the strength of the relationship), but over time, more freedom (unnecessary freedom) is given to teens – hence they end up choosing the wrong paths/making bad decisions in life.
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  6. Raja Rao says:

    Dear Praveen
    I am really very proud of you, words are not enough to express. I can read your pulse. You have made my breath comfortable.

    Life is beautiful and you can make it much more so by bondage. You have proved this. Thank you and Sushma for all the care taken and made my 73rd birthday a great day through this.

    With love and affection ,the only assets I have.

    Anna.

  7. Praveen,

    I am happy to see your parents pics and our best wishes and greetings for their 41st anniversary. Just pass our wishes..!!

    It’s great to hear that you are on your father’s footsteps where he paved it right age and time. Absolutely BIG yes.!

    It’s always a gift, If a kid could get their Father become a friend. I grow up like that. Indeed, there is a positive impact at every decision you make which helps a lot on your life path.

    Thanks for sharing the wonderful and emotional post!
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  8. Barry Wells says:

    Ok I have a question to ask straight away…. All the time we’ve been commenting and communicating with each other I’ve been calling you Praveen. I now see that your fathers name is Rajarao, so have I been calling you by your surname all this time?

    I see others also call you Praveen, so I’ll do likewise until I know better :)

    I can understand and appreciate you celebrating your father and his achievements as a dad, a man and a husband.

    A true gentleman that commands respect. You’re very lucky to have such a man in your life Praveen, to put his hand on your shoulder and steer you through life.

    Sadly my sperm donor wasn’t a real man, he fathered 5 kids and then ran off with another woman, never to return or look in on us. I was ten when he left, my youngest brother just 4 and the sperm donor has never returned even though he only lives 10 miles away. Not a letter, card or call. it’s now been 38 years so I can’t see it changing :lol:

    Mind you it has taught me how to be a real man and lead my children by example. Letting them grow into fine adults whilst steering them around the hurdles life throws our way.

    So you see I really understand why you’ve published this post, to show your love, respect and gratitude to a perfect example of a real man.

    Please congratulate your Mother and Father on their 41 years of marriage, I wish every happiness for many many more.

    Be proud with pride Praveen, you come from great stock :)

    Respect and Regards, Barry
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    • Barry – Thanks for stopping by. Back in certain parts of India, we usually have just the first name and initials to go with it. Mine is Praveen R where R stands for Rajarao which is my fathers name.

      When we apply for passports and visit other countries, we are expected to fill in our last name and I had to spell it out.

      So, you are good calling me Praveen :-)

      It is sad to hear your story, but at the same time, I feel you have done a great job in learning from what happened and never repeating the same in your life. That is what counts the most and makes you a fine gentleman that you are. Your kids must be proud of you after knowing wht you have gone through.

      Thanks for all the wishes and I shall surely convey them back to my parents. Yes, it feels nice when my readers know more about me and appreciates for what I am.

      Have a good week ahead.
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  9. Dee Ann Rice says:

    Praveen,

    What a fabulous post you wrote in honor of your Father.

    As I read it I thought of my own father who taught me all of those things as well. My father was not very out spoken and more taught by correcting bad behavior.

    It is great that you get to spend time with your parents. It must be hard to be so far away from them.

    Thanks for a great inspirational post.

    Dee Ann
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    • Hello Dee Ann – Glad to see you back on DMC and thanks for leaving your comment on this post of mine.

      I agree that it is very difficult for me to live so far away from my parents and we tend to miss out on the social life and family get-togethers a lot by opting to stay here. All this for a good-cause I hope at the end of it.

      It is great that you could relate with what I have shared here and thanks for your inspirational words.

      Have a wonderful week ahead.
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  10. ANKIT JHA says:

    Hi Praveen,

    Though i am too late to wish uncle A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY , but please do convey my best regards to uncle and aunty.

    You have just puffed your heart out what you feel for your dad as we too do. Its really Awesome. And your dad is also happy to find himself a great gratitude here.

    Thanks for sharing your views. I too feel the same for my MAA(mom) and PAPA(dad).

    WISH THEM A VERY BLISSFUL LIFE AHEAD.

    You too have good time!!
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